So the Simpsons had their Treehouse of Horror XVII tonight. People criticize the Simpsons as being out of touch and not risqué enough for today’s audience. I disagree with this, the Simpsons can and do push the envelope from time to time but tonight was just off.

The first of three was Married To The Blob, an overdone parody on all fronts. Homer eats an interstellar blob and grows to grotesque size, eating everything and everyone he comes across. With a cry of “must eat, then poop, then eat while I poop” he starts with the participants in a BBQ sauce fight. He then moves on to eat fat folk, taking out Comic Book Guy and the staff from a Hawaiian shirt store. As he comes across Dr. Phil (as voiced by Dr. Phil) it occurs to me the fundamentally significant different between the Simpsons and Family Guy – namely the latter would make fun of Dr. Phil while this show paid him to appear. I prefer the latter. The short ends with Homer eating homeless people. Whatever.

The commercial break featured a trailer for “Deck The Halls” starring Matthew Broderick and Danny Devito. I guess everyone has bills to pay from time to time.

The second feature was You Gotta Know When to Golem, premised with Bart controlling a golem Krusty the Clown keeps backstage. The episode was summed up by Krusty who, when faced with the horrible truth, says “I’m gonna need a shoebox full of blow to get through this dreck.” I couldn’t agree more. This golem with a conscience short is finally, mercifully ended with the golem marrying a female golem created by the Simpson family. The female is voiced by Fran Drescher. It was at this point I punctured my eardrums with my pen to avoid permanent damage.

The last of this trio of tripe was The Day The Earth Looked Stupid with a Scary Movie 4-inspired (omg did I just say that?) take on War of the Worlds. This short also inspired the funniest line when a panicking Orson Welles approached Chief Wiggum to warn him of the impending alien apocalypse and is rebuked with “Back off or I’ll bust your nose, bud,” to which Orson whispers quietly to himself, “nosebud…” – the only evidence the Simpsons hasn’t jumped the cartoon shark yet. That and Big Band Stu says 23 skiddoo. In the end it was just more critique on the American occupation of Iraq and a pretty poor choice to end the show on.

Overall another Halloween special has come and gone. Maybe next year they can do something original. Or maybe the official movie will spell the end of the Simpsons on TV.